Speaking is something I have always wanted to do, but it was so far out of my comfort zone & so far away from my normal behavior! Growing up I was pretty quiet, so much so that everyone called me shy, everywhere I went! For this reason I never got put forward for any leadership roles, or given the chance to extend myself in this area. Those roles usually go to someone that shows confidence & is a little more outspoken than I was! And honestly? End up being offered to the same people time & time again. The thing was, I don’t think I was actually shy, I was an observer who was super aware & worried about what everyone thought of her!
As a little girl I used to line up my soft toys, or talk to myself in the mirror. I used to pretend I was a speaker & give them (and myself!) pep talks. So funny to remember this!
I would choose a topic I was passionate about, usually something that was happening with me or around me, and speak about it. Motivating & inspiring my soft toys, or myself in the mirror, how cool (and funny!) is that! I remember feeling so fired up, and my voice sounded so different, it had power & conviction somehow. I loved this feeling so much.
So you can imagine my excitement when I was invited to be a speaker at a women’s gym, Team Tash Training. This gym has a strong community of women who all empower each other to show up for themselves & be the best versions of themselves every day. It aligned so well with myself & business I couldn’t say no to this!! So I said YES.
I was excited but PETRIFIED!
I was so scared about doing this talk. It’s my first one! Earlier in the week I started to hear the negative self-talk coming in….
“You’re not even going to have anything to say to these people”
“You won’t have any value for them”
“You’ll make such an idiot of yourself”
“What the hell are you even doing?”
“Who do you think you are?’
BUT luckily, being used to this pattern I quickly told those thoughts to bugger right off. And I started to instead tell myself…..
“Gemma, you have so much value to give”
“Women need to hear what you have1 to say”
“You are going to stand up and speak with your heart & knowledge with passion & confidence”
“You are exactly where you are meant to be”
Can you imagine if I listened to that first voice? I bet you I wouldn’t have even done that talk. If I hadn’t told those thoughts to bugger right off, I would have talked myself out of doing this, can you believe it? I bet a lot of you can relate!
I had to do so much work to get myself to that place where I was ready to speak in front of people. I am so grateful for all the personal growth work that I have done to get me to the person I am today, and super excited to see my future growth!
So if you have dreamed of doing something, but are just not in that place yet, please know it takes growth & time to get yourself to that place. Don’t lose sight of it & don’t give up on yourself!